


too drunk to love you (too sober to not to)

by Prettything_uglylie



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Bottom Monty Green, Crying Monty Green, Drunk Sex, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mean(ish) Jasper Jordan, Minor Jasper Jordan/Maya Vie, Monty Green Tries To Fix Them, POV Monty Green, Post-Mount Weather, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut, The rape/non-con should be dubious consent, Top Jasper Jordan, dark themes, this is a lot tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:01:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22104490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettything_uglylie/pseuds/Prettything_uglylie
Summary: It's been a month since Mount Weather, meaning Jasper still drinks his meals and Monty glances around corners like people are out to get him.Or he wakes up on nights like this, covered in sweat and tears, shivering because wet-hot feeling in his chest and stomach morphing with the cold sweat surrounding his body. But tonight, Monty knows he woke up to something; three quick taps on the door make him certain of it and he's too nervous to completely regard clothes as a feasible choice. Besides, there's a familiarity in the knocking that makes him feel both trusting and like something bad may have occurred.Standing from his bed and practically jogging over to the door, he flings it open to see...to see Jasper. Once, many lifetimes ago, on the Ark, this would have been normal behavior but with Jasper looking incredibly sober and his pupils blown wide, eyes dark, Monty knows this isn't normal. Once, perhaps, it could have been.But here, now, it isn't. Could never be again.Based off the Tumblr prompt, ""You're like perfection." With Monty and Jasper?"
Relationships: Monty Green/Jasper Jordan
Kudos: 34





	too drunk to love you (too sober to not to)

**Author's Note:**

> These are from the old prompts and I'm just filling these up and they're old writings. I hope you still like them, even though this one is admittedly dark!

It's been a month since Mount Weather, meaning Jasper still drinks his meals and Monty glances around corners like people are out to get him. 

Or he wakes up on nights like this, covered in sweat and tears, shivering because wet-hot feeling in his chest and stomach morphing with the cold sweat surrounding his body. But tonight, Monty knows he woke up to something; three quick taps on the door make him certain of it and he's too nervous to completely regard clothes as a feasible choice. Besides, there's a familiarity in the knocking that makes him feel both trusting and like something bad may have occurred. 

Standing from his bed and practically jogging over to the door, he flings it open to see...to see Jasper. Once, many lifetimes ago, on the Ark, this would have been normal behavior but with Jasper looking incredibly sober and his pupils blown wide, eyes dark, Monty knows this isn't normal. Once, perhaps, it could have been.

But here, now, it isn't. Could never be again. 

His back pangs slightly against the wall but it's mostly shock that makes his jaw drop but his jaw doesn't stay dropped for long. Jasper presses a firm kiss to his lips and Monty freezes; they've done this a few times but it was back on the Ark under the guise of learning to kiss while also being too young to know what their feelings for each other, other men, actually mean. 

When they had pulled away from those "practice" kisses, it had been flush-faced giggles but when he pulls away, Jasper's face is a blank canvas obstructing his hungry eyes. His eyes are actually culminating to the point where Monty would call them insatiable but his voice is dry when he says, "Take off your clothes." 

If this was Other Jasper, he would have made a tilted joke either about sudden dominance or how easily he can discard just his boxers. 

He doesn't make the joke. 

This Jasper doesn't want to hear it. 

He feels shy suddenly under Jasper's gaze like he hasn't been changing in front of Jasper since he was eight years old but this -- this doesn't feel like the Jasper he knows. He doesn't strip and instead asks, "Are you okay?" 

Jasper's hand slams against the top of Monty's drawers where it had been looking at what Monty has placed there - it wasn't much; a note in Bellamy's scrawl saying 'you did good today' where 'good' was scratched out and replaced with 'well' in Monty's own pen (he had no reason for keeping it other than the reassurance that someone didn't hate him and for the memory of Bellamy's wide, enchanting smile when he saw the correction), one of his mother's earrings a crumpled up picture of him and Jasper at twelve years old (Monty kept it for the reassurance that once, once he was good at making Jasper happy) and a flashlight from David Miller that he was handed after David also handed him a teasing comment about being his son's boyfriend. Jasper hitting the dresser hard enough to cause the wood to shake feels like an offense but Monty doesn't call him out on it. 

Especially when he snarls out, "Take your fucking clothes off right now, Monty." 

His name doesn't sound nice like it used to; instead, it sounds bitter and almost a mock of knowing how he misses Other Jasper's clumsy but loving tactfulness as he had pulled Monty's shirt over his head after their "practice" kisses evolved into "practice" make-out sessions. 

This isn't Other Jasper. 

Other Jasper is dead. He died in Mount Weather too. 

Monty killed him. 

He does it though; drags his boxers down his thighs, feeling like a ghost of Monty Green but Jasper seems satisfied as his eyes bore into Monty's naked frame. 

"Cool." The other boy shrugs like he isn't naked, like it isn't sort of off and wrong before he then demands, "Get on the bed." 

He does, sits on the edge of the bed and Jasper shoves at his shoulder - it's rude and violent and makes him want to cry before he also threatens, "Prepare yourself or I fuck you dry." 

Monty cringes at the threat before asking, "Jas?" 

"Don't talk." Jasper rasps again, tugging off his shirt and pants while Monty moves to get the lubricant from the door and with a shaking voice, Monty kindly lies, "You're like perfection." 

He doesn't. Jasper's too skinny at the ribs - probably from drinking his meals, his eyes carry deep, dark bags and he looks like death had painted his skin. 

Jasper cringes before repeating, "Prepare yourself." 

Monty nods, scooting back onto the bed to clutch at the tube of lube before he brings the bottle to a level to focused and pour lube onto his own fingers, like it is some difficult technology - like it was Mount Weather - but he manages to slick them up rather decently and with a shaky hand, he reaches back to open himself up. 

He hasn't done this before, however, even with Jasper but he knows the technicalities of it and how, in textbook thereom, it is supposed to go. He just feels as though this won't happen like a textbook case. 

He worries for it to be too far, worries for it to be painful and that Jasper will neither stop for or care about. 

"I've never done this before." He says to Jasper like Jasper wouldn't know that but looking into this face, he knows this isn't Jasper as Other Jasper would have pecked him on the face - the nose, maybe? With a smile that knows of Monty's annoyed cringe and revels in it? Or the forehead as his spindly fingers cradled Monty's face to reassure and Monty would deny leaning into - and assured that he doesn't mind or that he knows or that it's okay. This Jasper, however, murmurs out, "Don't care" as he chucks his belt off and starts to take his pants down. 

Monty doesn't want to be here. 

Sex with Jasper wouldn't usually bring a pause but sex with this Jasper, in theory alone, makes his pulse tick nervously. 

He doesn't say anything. 

Jasper climbs on tops of him. 

And he's naked now and sure, Monty has seen it before but that was in a casual context like showers in Ark lockup or changing clothes but this feels different. It all does. 

Monty feels like a stranger in his own body in his room with his best friend on top of him. 

Jasper, however and despite the cool-cruel front he has put up, still reaches for the bottle of lube near the head of Monty's bed and he makes to slick up his cock and Monty is grateful for tiny wins. 

"Ready?" Jasper practically growls despite the clumsy way his hands stroke his own cock like he's never touched it before - a fact in which Monty knows is a lie. But then Jasper is propping the head of his shaft at Monty's entrance and Monty feels his thoughts halt. 

His voice is rough with emotion when he answers, "Yeah." and if he wasn't looking, he wouldn't notice the flicker of pride, joy, hope? across Jasper's face. 

But he is looking. 

He's always looking at Jasper. 

Jasper's kiss is hot and searing when he pushes their lips together and Monty wishes that his mind hadn't immediately pointed out how Jasper doesn't taste of alcohol or how his lips are chapped in the kiss but he hates this reminder. It's a reminder that Jasper isn't acting the role of sweet young four-year-old Jasper who had seen him on the play area of the Ark and dragged Monty over to his parents before saying, "I'm gonna marry Monty." 

No real killer of illusions more than reality, Monty, his mother's voice chides as a memory, that is why dreamers tend to lie and die, Monty. She hugged him after that; she rarely hugged him. 

This man on top of Monty isn't the same little boy who had supposed to Monty but in his kiss, it feels like Monty could find him, like he could reach slender fingers down Jasper's throat and tug on the piano-wire strings linked to his heart until the boy Monty knew was free. 

They pull away and Monty doesn't know when either of them started crying but they both are and Monty is fairly certain they're both grieving; Jasper for Maya, Monty for Jasper. 

Jasper's first thrust is sloppy but they're both emotionally wracked so Monty moans, neither in pleasure nor pain - even though it burns a bit from lack of proper experience. It doesn't actively hurt like Monty had worried but it doesn't feel good until about four thrusts in. 

Jasper hits that spot - the spot from classes on the Ark and books Monty collected, he knows is called the prostrate - and Monty loses track of time. 

At one point, Jasper brokenly murmurs, "I never got to d-do this with her" and Monty has no words so he pulls him close into their embrace. They're both sweating and crying and chasing their release and some cure to the gorge between them but with foreheads pressed together, each chasing the hot coil in the pit of their stomaches, this may be the closest they'll ever get. 

They're just wasting time again and they both know this but there's nothing left to do. This is all they have and it's a weird feeling when time is running out but is also all you have left. 

Jasper hits his breaking point first but continues to thrust and starts to stroke Monty to completion as well and both shaking with aftershocks, they collapse to the bed. 

And Monty would die to say something, to have the right words or crack a joke or even ask about the hand Monty still feels that Jasper had wrapped his into as he came. 

But he doesn't have the right words, never does. 

As Jasper gets up and dressed to leave, a note falls from his pocket. Monty Green will only notice the paper the next morning and it will only have these words scrawled into it. 

_'Dear Monty,_

_You're like perfection.'_

* * *

Six years later, he is finally given the letter and scrawled then scratched out in the first line of Jasper Jordan's suicide note is 

_'Dear Monty,_

_You're like perfection.'_

It is scratched out and replaced with _'I love you.'_

Time stops. 

It always does. 

They never had any in the first place. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you...enjoyed this? Kudos and comments act as my Jasper to my Monty, thank youuu!


End file.
